Hello sweet friends!
I’ve been thinking lately how much of parenting advice is polar opposite. It can be overwhelming and very easy to think that you (speaking to myself also) aren’t doing, “_______” enough/or the right way. I know I am my own worst critic but is easy to just dwell on the negative and feel like a constant failure. Especially when you hear only the polished version of motherhood through the Internet filters or read articles about how you shouldn’t complain because other moms are aching for the things you are complaining about. So how do you show a real true view of motherhood without sounding like you are complaining or ungrateful?! I think we all need to give each other grace and love. Motherhood is amazing and wonderful and challenging and heart warming and heart breaking. What works for one mom might not work for you. I think the best thing we can do as moms is stop judging.
I have had the toddler meltdowns a lot lately and have felt like I am doing something wrong and it wears on your spirit and soul. But I’ve praying a lot and asking God for strength and wisdom. Does that mean we ha e it figured out? No. Am I still nervous/worried about leaving my house with my boys without my husband? Yes!! In fact I’m terrified to show my face in the library and target if it’s just me and the littles. Does that mean I’m a bad mom? No, but I still think I am (just being honest).
Am I’m complaining? I don’t think so and hope you don’t think I am. I love my two little boys with every fiber of my body. I’m so glad that God gave them to us. Does that mean that on the days that feel never ending I don’t wish for the boys to be a little older so hopefully they listen to reason and don’t throw huge temper tantrums or that they could go potty? Sometimes I do feel myself wishing those hard days away. But if you asked me what my dream job was, hands down every time I’d say being a mom. I love when my almost 17 mo old still wants to cuddle me for hours a day. Do I wish he had word when he is screaming non stop? Yes. But for now I’m happy the 3yr old has words to spare 😉. I do wish for the days I can stay focused while making dinner but I know my heart will ache when I don’t have the “baby” tugging on my pants or opening every cupboard or climbing in the dishwasher or taking the trash out of the trash can and bringing it to me. Or the toddler saying “mommy I want a skool so I can watch”. I’m working hard (with God’s help) to find joy in every moment. Some moments it is easy to see the joy others not so much.
I think the best advice is be who God made you to be. God gave you your kids for a reason and picked you to be their mom.
If you feel called to eat super healthy and have no fake ingredients, good for you. If you don’t feel called to that lifestyle, don’t feel guilty your kids are still fed *high five*. If you are somewhat in the middle between the two (that’s where I fall), that’s awesome, food still gets put on the table.
If you feel like kids don’t need any screen time or very limited time I highly commend you for finding other activities for them to do. If you let your kids watch DVDs and have a little screen time on iPads (cough cough me), there is nothing wrong with that (my boys still play, love to read, go outside,etc), I personally sometimes need the screen to help recharge my batteries.
If you are super crafy and Pinterest-y, that is awesome and I look up to you ladies. If you can’t draw a straight line with a ruler that is also amazing, without you the moms that sell items wouldn’t have a market. If you fall in the middle (myself) where you enjoy making/crafting but lack all the abilities-try (if you are intrestrred in it)- you might surprise yourself (I know I have lately).
If you are a free range momma and don’t want to pressure your child towards one gender or the other, you are a great momma. If you feel like your child needs to accept the gender they were born with, you are still an amazing momma.
Let’s stop comparing ourselves, deal?
Now I’m going to go cuddle my babies and enjoy warm apple oatmeal bake while dreaming of fall and colder temps.
Till next time,